The Story of Therese
Forty four years ago I married my husband. That day we drove downtown and as many have heard me say, it took us longer to find a parking place than to say our vows ,fill out the paperwork and get married.
A lot of water has gone under the bridge or over the dam since the day I took off work to start a new chapter in my life. So it was that on that day Sept 3, 1971 that I married the Man that would father my children.
Those years in the beginning were not always happy. First, our honeymoon was in a Holiday inn, close to the racetrack where we spent our wedding day. He loved the Track and that was his plan. Then we had dinner at a restaurant close to the track before we headed to a Kmart to buy some things and then to the hotel for our”Honeymoon” it was a week-end .
The following years were met with many memorable moments as well as sad, lonely and miserable times. There was finding good employment, the birth of Four Children, several apartments, starting a business of his own, several houses, numerous schools and churches, family issues, relatives terminally ill and many now gone to sleep forever. Making and loosing good friendships. Wondering what tomorrow will bring our way. You might say we had potholes, peaks & valleys, more bumps in the road than we thought or welcomed.
My very biggest problem has always been dealing with his temper. He goes from smiling to punching walls within a matter of seconds. He blames things for not working when he is having a problem and blames me for everything wrong in his life. He often tells me I was the worst mistake he ever made. I think he is bi-polar. I know he has a confidence problem, because he rarely makes a decision. His decisions come about by his lack of doing anything and then dealing with the outcome. So, he wonders why he thinks life sucks.
I always thought I would get married to someone who would take care of me, worship and love me. Want me to smile and be happy. Shower me with flowers and gifts. Well I guess that’s every Girls dream, but I have had none of that. If I wanted flowers, I would have to buy them myself. My Christmas gifts were generally things like vacuum cleaners hair dryers etc. When I was having our babies, my big gift was getting a new robe. My mother in law shamed my husband into sending me flowers when our third child was born, I was sure the delivery person made a mistake when the flowers were delivered to my room. I also knew it was an empty thought, because he did not send the flower to me out of love or respect.
Now almost 45 years in the marriage I do get flowers on Easter and an occasional surprise. He qualifies sending the gift and the cost with sending business to his Customer who is a florist. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?
So why did I choose to Marry him? I can honestly say I loved him, thought he had big problems because of his family situation and that it would be different when we were on our own. We all say we don’t marry a family, but we do marry into the customs, issues and complexities that one brings from their upbringing.
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